During the Balkan nomadry (which was actually the second trip), I was able to secure reasonable (though extremely basic) accommodations, find and prepare nutritious food, and the extremely inexpensive and available tickets for theatre, music, etc. meant that I could engage culturally a bit, which is what I do. (And there's a book of criticism now, whatever its virtues.) The thing I most valued in these places, though, was the explicit civilizational context. The social understanding is set forth much more clearly there, and much of it is centered in the universities and academic culture.
And now I'm back in the initial scheme -- rather firmly (and mysteriously) excluded from the theatremaking (conservatory masters, a decade of work), practice of law (top-tier school, good grades, two bar exams), and the academy (thousands of undergraduate papers graded, 300 pp. dissertation, faculty refuses to schedule a defense).
So, as against those claiming that "whatever you can get away with doing" is a fair means of building a culture, I have to point out that it rarely results in the survival of the worthiest, or even the most qualified. And without a civilizational context, there's not really a "base camp" to retreat to. The only option is to keep working and thinking, because that's what I do, but it increasingly looks like even the basic existence of internal exile to a place like Siberia won't be possible. Once outside the scheme of things, there is no means of survival. (Especially as the social safety net in this culture is being used for permanent structural and political support for some populations.)
And, following the structure of the thought, the missing element most needed is the present civilizational context that would allow a foothold for understanding the situation. The most that the craven discourse would offer is that I've lost some sort of a game, or gambled and lost by the simple fact of existing.
It's less rage against the dying of the light than pointing out with a sort of mute disbelief that the order of things was unconcerned with light from the beginning. And the important aspect of this is that it's thought to be an epistemic virtue -- the making of all things new.
Light, more light!